A little bit of resolve
by paulalou
Summary: sequel to disenchanted lullaby. Ronald Weasley for example, Still as pig headed, still as idiotic ,still as adorable as ever.She cursed herself for thinking it.But history is only history if somone knows the story and history never stays buried for long
1. Chapter 1

a/n this is a sequel to disenchanted lullaby, by me strangely enough, so if you want you can read that one first but if you don't want to you should be able to read this as a stand alone story, I'm looking at about seven chapters I think….Love as ever paula-lou.

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She looked at the familiar walls that surrounded the overly complicated grounds of her childhood. The familiar feeling of belonging floated across her, along side the shadow that fell across the stone work. "People will start talking about you!"

She turned and flung her arms around Luna who cast the familiar shadow.

"Hermione, I'd like to breath."

Hermione dropped her grip but the grin did not slip from her face, it had been a long time since she had seen a familiar face, far to long in fact the way she had been summoned back seamed not a moment to soon. Luna looked every bit as radiant as she had the last time that Hermione had seen her. She had left Hogwarts and truly come in to her own, now working for the Ministry as assistant head to the department of Magical Creatures she had never yet been disproved in any of the 'discovery's'. Her once erratic hair now framed her face in a perfect bob, her eyes sparkling behind a pair of slightly tinted pink sunglasses that complemented her pink tie died robes.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you." Hermione said pushing her own sunglasses up on to her head so she could see her friend better.

"Well I couldn't let you come all this way and not see a friendly face could I?" said Luna grinning.

"Oh, I saw a friendly face this morning; you would think that after seven years Lavender wouldn't still hold a grudge…"

"Yes you would think that, but some people are just plain crazy."

As the two women walked up to the front gates Hermione couldn't help but let out a giant sigh, it felt weird to be back here after all this time, how would the place have changed? Would she still feel like the place was home after all the time spent in France? She hoped so. The offer of employment had drawn her back, although the job working along side Flure had been a learning experience (not to mention a test of patience, just because something takes a different name does not make it a different thing, no matter if that name is Weasley.) The though of returning home to England had played heavy on her mind for so long now, she had politely refused many a trip to the burrow to visit Molly and Arthur, not because she didn't want to go, not that she hated it, it all came down to the fact that she couldn't face the fact that Ron wasn't there…

"Fred sent me an owl this morning told me that he was coming to help you move your things in to the flat after you had been up to see McGonagall. Seamed to think that you wouldn't stay otherwise…"

Hermione smiled "I always said that Fred was the one with the brains." She tried the gates and they swung open under her touch. "So much for security, I would have thought that after everything that happened that they would have at least put some sort of enchantment on the gates."

"They did but the threat is seen to be lifted, anyway no one can get anywhere near Hogsmead these days with out top level clearance, even Diagon ally has so many early warning systems in place that if anyone who even thinks dark mark comes within five miles we know about it." Luna said shrugging. "Anyway how was France?"

Hermione filled the time in as they walked up to the head masters office with complaints of how awful the heat was and how the fact that the Quidditch team was the worst in the league. The second part causing a raised eyebrow or two from Luna.

"What?" Hermione asked eventually as they reached the stone griffin.

"I was just wondering why the sudden interest in Quidditch? I thought you hated the game?"

"I take a passing interest in the league."

"And a passing interest in a certain player no doubt." Luna said conversationally.

Hermione shrugged, no point denying facts.

"I can't say I blame you…"

Hermione was saved the embarrassment of answering by the door opening to show the smiling face of professor McGonagall.

"Hermione dear, you have no idea how good it is to see you." Hermione took a chance to take in the appearance of her old school mistress; the sight of her in normal clothes was something that Hermione could not get used to, without her hair pulled in to a tight bun and her dark green tartan robes, professor McGonagall didn't command quite the same amount of power. The long denim skirt and white shirt didn't quite have the same affect.

"It's good to be home." Hermione smiled as she took the seat offered, Luna sliding in to the one next to her. "It's good to have her back." Luna said as McGonagall sat down behind her desk.

"As soon as the position of charms teacher came up I thought of you miss Granger, even now you hold the highest test results in the history of Hogwarts I can think of no better candidate." She smiled at Hermione over the top of her half rim glasses. "I know of course that I asked you to leave a job you seamed to be avidly suited to."

Hermione smiled, she could think of nothing further from the truth.

"Minerva I can think of no other job I would rather have at this moment in time, I need to be home, and I need to be near the people that care about me live."

The picture of Dumbledore watched nonchalantly from the wall behind McGonagall.

"Then there is just the small matter of your quarters?"

Hermione cut across her, "I have a flat in the village, above Zonkos."

"Normally we like our teachers to stay on site."

Hermione looked down at her hands. She fidgeted with the silver ring that adorned her finger. "I would rather not, if that's alright, I will take a room here only in times of emergency."

Professor McGonagall, stood up nodding at the two women to follow her, "As you wish Miss Granger, it's a little unorthodox but if you wish." She tapped the door and they descended down the stairs. "Now I think we really should go see Rosemerta, I'm sure she's heard of your return, and I'm sure Mr Weasley will be anxious to help you celebrate."

The three Broomsticks, although still showing some signs of the destruction that had rampaged through the village some six years ago, looked as inviting as it always had. Flowers fell out of the planters splashing the charred stone with colors, some things had changed since the last time Hermione had visited, Rosemerta had placed wooden tables and benches outside on the small well tended lawn, and some had pretty parasols over them, shielding the customers from the blindingly hot sun. The weather was the warmest that Hermione had ever felt it as she sipped from the bizarre cocktail that Luna had bought her. She fiddled with the bright blue umbrella in the glass as she listened to Luna talking about the last letter that she had received from Neville.

"Obviously, he appreciated the offer of work, I mean he loves the school as much as any one of us, but his research is at a critical stage at the moment and he really can't afford to leave his post." Luna said beaming with pride. "I just wish he would come home soon, I do miss him, the house is so lonely without him, plus I have no idea how much longer I can keep his plants alive."

"Tell the daft bugger to come home and look after them himself."

Hermione nearly jumped a mile as a booming voice announced the arrival of Fred Weasley looking more freckled and brown that usual. "I dunno about you Loony but he does seem to forget that you're just his friend and not his wife."

"And I don't mind at all, I've told you a thousand time's." she smiled quite coyly at Fred, who went a slightly interesting shade of crimson then turned his attention to Hermione.

"And you!" he pulled her in to a bone breaking hug, " You are a sight for sore eyes, how are you? How was France? Did you bring me anything back?" Fred recoiled from the punch that Hermione delivered him.

'Since when did I become you're punch bag I thought that was our dear little Ronnikins job.' Fred said rubbing the vastly reddening patch on his arm. 'Well he's not here is he so I can't hit him can I?' she said smiling.

'Yes where is young Mr Weasley? I did expect him to be here to help.' Said McGonagall looking at Hermione curiously.

'I haven't seen Ron at all in the last twelve months, he's far to busy with his new life isn't he, he can't just go dropping everything, I mean, victor and Ron hold that team together they can't just abandon posts every time I need to speak to them that would be far to uninvolved of them, I mean how dare I get in the way of Quidditch?' Hermione was suddenly aware that almost everyone was looking at her, she hadn't meant to blurt quite that much out.

'Ok, changing subject…'Fred said picking up the empty glasses from the table, 'Who would like another drink?'


	2. Chapter 2

She had forgotten how much she liked to watch the sun setting on the mountains, I stirred feelings from deep inside her that she had thought were long since dormant, a distant echo of the reality that seamed to be a dream like state that she no longer remembered existing. The dimming light framed the large bay window at the front of the flat where Hermione now sat, the window wide open letting the scent of the evening dew sweep her away on the tide of memories that she had no intention of damming.

"Penny for them?" Fred said slipping in to the seat next to her.

"Thinking about your brother, if you must know." Hermione said accepting the tray of sandwiches from him and putting them on an upturned box.

"Let me guess what one, Charlie?" he said taking the top sandwich, "Because he's only got eyes for that bloody stupid dragon that Hagrid gave him." He smiled at her, sandwich half way to his mouth. There was something behind Fred's eyes that made her always trust him, well as much as you could trust a man more than half likely to turn you in to a giant canary at the drop of a hat. It was an unsettling sort of trust, the sort that you don't realize you have gained, a closest friend that never really tried just always was. It was something that she had longed for, for such a long time, but the brown eyes that looked at her were all wrong. The trust she had built with Ron was a one off, never to be replaced. He had always been the only person to reassure her with one look that everything was fine, even when the odds had been stacked against them.

Even at the end of things Ron had helped her believe that there was a light at the end of all the darkness. But the following dark had hung heavy now for so long.

"I know your probably going to tell me to get stuffed and I personally wouldn't blame you, I mean it's not as if were the best of friends, more like the best of enemies, but you have always been like my little sister Hermione, you do realize that right?' Fred didn't listen for an answer, 'But if your telling me the reason that you ran off to France was to improve your French skills I know you would be lying. Now I know I'm not the best person to be dishing out any sort of advice when it comes to relationships' (Hermione tried her best not to choke on the sandwich that she had been chewing, Fred thumped her back to dislodge the killer bread.) 'But I do know that whatever you and my brother had was the realest thing I have ever seen, I know it must have hurt you when he did what he did but you have to put that down to him just being Ron.'

Hermione smiled to herself 'Realest isn't a word.'

"It's in the dictionary, and stop trying to change the subject."

Hermione fiddled with the little silver band on her finger. Why did she still feel awkward when she was asked directly about her and Ron? They may not have ever come out in public that they were together, it just never seamed to be the right time, what with the impending doom of the end, death, near death, school work and phlegm…there had never really been the opportune moment, and then after that night… Ron had changed he had become something strange, like a walking shell of the man he had become. He had stood constant vigil at Harry's bed side in the days after the battle, they all had, but Ron refused to leave. Hermione had lay in the next room for days listening to Ron talk to a unconscious Harry, reading him the Quidditch news, talking about Krum and the Irish teams hopes and aspirations for the next world cup since the end of the war.

He only visited her in the dark of the night when he though that she was sleeping.

It had killed her to lie there listening to him sob in the dark, every inch of her wanting to hold him, calm him let him know that she was there, she would always be there. However the fear of him not returning had hold of her so tightly that she lay there listening to his heart break, scared to move incase hers got broken in the fall out.

She couldn't blame him entirely for everything, but he never seamed to be the same after that. They weren't the same again after that.

The day that the war ended so did the spark between the two of them, the fight was all taken out of her, she loved him, and she never stopped loving him.

"Ron will be here on Sunday, He comes up to see mum once a month, Hermione just think about coming to see mum will you, you know she misses your company, what with dad not being around as much anymore and Ginny so busy with work…She worries about you Hermione she really does."

Hermione nodded, she should really go see Molly, and after all she was the closet thing she had to a mother these days.

"Will Harry be there?" she asked pulling a blanket around her shoulders.

"I should imagine so, Mum needs one day off from baby sitting, not that she complains, much." He smiled at the pictures that he was putting over the fire place. Bill, Flure and Charlie waved happily from the frame.

"I can't believe that is almost seven years ago." Hermione said, walking over to join Fred at the fire.

"Seven years on Sunday, I can't believe that was the last time we were all in the same place at the same time."

"I can't believe your brother thought it was funny to howl during his speech."

"He was making light of the situation, I thought it was funny, and so did you at the time!"

Hermione had a flash image of her burying her face in Ron's robes to dull the giggles, a warm felling filled her, it had been so long since she had thought of the happy times.

"Was that a genuine smile?"

Hermione hit him gently on the arm, he rubbed the spot gently. He glanced down at his watch. "I hate to go and spoil our little psychology session but I have to be somewhere."

He flashed the smile at her, sending involuntary shivers up her spine; it was the Weasley charm you never got unhooked once you were caught.

Hermione watched him out at the door.

"You better watch out for Nargles!" Hermione shouted down the steps after him.

"I'll let Luna worry about that." He said waving at her over his shoulder as he disappeared up a side ally way.

Hermione closed the door quietly behind her, leaning against it to sigh and slide down the oak to the floor.

She flicked her wand and the writing set floated across to her from the empty tea crate on the floor next to the window.

Taking the parchment carefully from the role she took out the long peacock quill, she smelt it as she gently stroked it across her face; it still smelt of him, she relaxed slightly the quill hovering over the parchment.

Ron, I ….

She stared at the paper for what seamed like ever, how did she put down in words the things that she needed to say? How could she put six years of hurt down in a letter? How could she ever tell him that all she ever wanted was for him to look at her the way that he used to? If she closed her eyes she could remember that first kiss the way he had ran his fingers through her damp hair the way he had held her close, his outright disgust that she had been alone with Draco Malfoy. The way he had kissed her and her heart had felt like it was about to explode. He had a hold on her back then that she couldn't fight, his looks could control her every move, every thought.

She hated independent living, back then it may have been death and destruction on a daily basis, but she had belonged to something, the bond that her and Ron had with Harry was unbreakable, at least it was back then. Harry was the hero always had been, Ron his right hand man and she had been the voice of reason. But now? Now they didn't need each other.

Harry had Ginny and they had there daughter to look out for in between running around at the Ministry. Hermione had only seen them once in the last six months, after Ginny had given birth to a healthy six pound seven ounce bundle of joy with bright blue eyes and a mop of dark black hair. Ruby was the most adorable baby that Hermione had ever held every part of her had been perfectly formed, ten adorable fingers, and ten little wrinkled toes. Mr Weasley had given everyone a picture taken with his muggle camera, his prized possession and a gift from the twins for getting promoted again. That was the last time Hermione had felt like she belonged to something. Ron hadn't been there that day; he was unable to get there because he had a cup match. Secretly Hermione had hoped that he wouldn't be, it would hurt too much to see him when her emotions were already high.

She had sat in her empty flat that night staring at the letter that Minerva had sent and wondering what she should do, she had missed the Burrow so much, she had missed the fact that she could talk to people that actually cared about her and gave a damn about things other than facts and figures. She had wished that she wasn't so scared to go back that the very thought made her vomit.

Two bottles of rose wine and the running commentary on the Hawks and the Braves game helped to make her even more home sick, as she listened pass for pass, Weasley to Krum, she couldn't help but feel like she had lost everything in her life that she cared about, everything that was her reason to live.

If she went back home, Back to the Burrow, back to her family, maybe everything would make sense?

She watched the parchment burn.

The word traitor flickered out of existence.


	3. Chapter 3

The two glasses of wine had been a bad idea; she knew that as she walked down the long country lane to the Burrow, she had called in to see Luna before she braved the short walk from the village to the place she, deep down in her heart of hearts, called home.

As the content of her stomach threatened to re-visit she rounded the corner, the lopsided ill-aliened converted cottage of her youth greeted her like a sudden smack in the face.

This was it like a wave of nostalgia washing over her, she could smell the apples up in the orchard; hear the chickens scratching in the yard. She could almost imagine the ghosts of the pasts sitting outside on the wooden swing talking quietly in dress robes, talking of the future.

If anything was to make her turn back it was that thought, the thought of the future she should have had with Ron, the future that she was now scared to remember.

Any thought of escape were thwarted by a screech of recognition.

"Hello Molly." Hermione quickened her pace, the opening arms of the mother figure would be a welcoming gesture at this point in time.

She was embraced in to the bone breaking hug of the most respected member of the Weasley family. Never once had Molly said a bad thing about Hermione or her absence at many a family gathering. When the two women broke apart Hermione took a chance to look at Molly, her eyes had lost that sparkle that she was so famous for, her once flame red hair now showed irreversible signs of age, but the smile was as welcoming as ever.

"So good to see you dear, Harry will be so pleased to see you, I think he could do with an extra pair of hands." Molly beamed at her. "I can't believe how grown up you all look, look at you Hermione, every bit the young woman we knew you would be…" Hermione listened to the praise from Molly all the way to the back yard.

"And is there a young man in your life at the moment dear?" Molly tried her best to make it sound casual, but the tone did not go unnoticed.

"You know me Mrs Weasley, far to busy for things like that." Hermione forced a smile but it seamed to gratify Molly, Hermione saw the look of hope flicker behind the damaged eyes.

"Hermione!"

The voice of her other best friend broke the questioning, when she turned she saw Harry standing in the door way of the Burrow. He looked every bit as handsome as he had always done, he held Ruby in one arm, with the other he pushed the messy as ever hair out of his eyes, the scars inflicted on the back of his hand still visible on his tanned skin.

He looked the picture of health a million miles away from the half dead hero that had lay in a hospital bed for almost a year. He hobbled down the path towards them; his leg had never quite recovered from the blow that nearly finished him off. He kissed Hermione on the cheek and handed her Ruby, the little girl looked up at her with quiet interest. She still had Ron's eye's two burning blue eyes staring at her with silent judgment.

"I still don't know how you did it…" she said smiling at Harry.

"Well Hermione when a man loves a woman…"

"Oh ha, ha, I meant I dunno how to miscreants like you and Ginny can make something so perfect. So tiny, she's adorable you know that right I might have to steal her." Hermione said following Harry to the already heavily laden table.

"She would be even more perfect if her Mother and Father would hurry up and get married." Said Mrs Weasley glaring at Harry over the top of her reading glasses, Hermione had a feeling that this was a regular argument around hear these days, she supposed Molly needed something to complain about now that Bill no longer had his long hair. Harry wore and expression that read 'don't ask' as he let Molly's criticism was over him.

"And I told you Molly dear, it doesn't matter as long as they love each other." Said Mr. Weasley smiling at Hermione from over the top of his paper, he looked tiered, and so much older than Hermione had remembered him looking in the hospital. Was everything ok between the two of them?

"It's good to see you Hermione dear, I have to say I enjoyed that last article you posted in the Quibbler about the Egyptian tombs, it brought back good memories."

Hermione smiled. " I thought of you as I wrote it, I always wanted to go there after all the things that Ron told me about the Tombs, I found it all fascinating."

Harry laughed quietly to himself.

"What?" Hermione asked looking at him as she gently rocked Ruby.

"Didn't you go there on holiday?" he asked eyebrows raised in the way Hermione had learnt to know meant a torrent of questions was on the way. Hermione nodded carefully.

"You are supposed to relax on holiday Hermione, have fun, get drunk do the things that a normal twenty five year old does, not write two page long articles for the broad sheets back home."

Hermione fiddled with her earring with her free hand, Harry wouldn't understand, she had to keep herself busy, if she didn't things started to get to her, he was alright he had Ginny, she hadn't abandoned him in his moment of need.

"I have to pay the bills Harry."

"On holiday?"

"Yes even on holiday, they don't pay for themselves."

"Wasn't that the time that the braves were on tour in Egypt?" Harry interrogated further.

"Yes it was as it happens." Hermione said innocently.

"Yet according to Ron you didn't get in touch?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "And in all the times he has come to Paris he didn't once call in to see me, it does work both ways Harry." She fixed her concentration on the bundle in her arms.

"I don't get the two of you I really don't, one minute you're the best of friends and when I come around your hardly able to be in the same room as each other. Did I miss something?"

"Harry mate you were never the most observant card in the pack" Harry grinned past Hermione who was unable to turn around, the voice had made every nerve in her body stand to attention, how could he still have that power over her even now.

"And you're time keeping skills have gotten worse, just how do you manage a team?"

Hermione propped Ruby up on her shoulder as the infant looked for the source of her uncle's voice.

"Ah there's my little girl." Hermione felt his presence next to her as he walked up to the table. "Has she got cuter since last time I saw her?" Hermione felt him reach around her and pat Ruby on the nose softly; the little girl managed a half a smile before bursting in to tears. Hermione looked round at him for the first time. "Seams to be, my problem with the women in my life is they like the idea of me but I only make them cry." It was directed straight at her, although Harry came straight over and took Ruby off her Hermione gave up the screaming infant instantly.

"How come you always turn up when we're talking about you?" Harry said distracting Ron from the dead on eye lock he was having with Hermione, it was the most unnerving thing that she had ever been put through, it was as if he was challenging her to say something to his face. Answer his abrupt statement. Ruby continued screaming over the top of her father as he rolled his eyes.

"Timing is everything." Hermione retreated slightly; something in the way Ron was acting made her feel like she should be about a thousand miles from here. She watched as Mrs Weasley took Ruby from her father, the child stopped crying instantly; Harry rolled his eyes in mock sarcasm and nodded towards the house. "I should go let Ginny know your both here." Ron nodded and handed Harry the large hold all that Hermione had only just noticed he was carrying.

"You staying?" Hermione said managing to find her voice, it sounded slightly cracked and suddenly very old. She was only just aware of the fact that both Mr and Mrs Weasley had managed to sneak off after Harry leaving Hermione and Ron alone for the first time in longer than Hermione cared to remember.

"I thought I might as well take my holidays whilst I can, I had a good two months saved up, and you know Krum..." he looked at her for the first time since he had started talking, she felt the lump forming as she tried not to think of all the ways they had hurt each other in the past. "Well yeah, you know Krum, He's relishing in the fact he can be in charge by himself for a while." Hermione nodded dumbly.

Why does history keep repeating itself? Why is it that this always comes back to Krum? She found it in herself to look him in the eye, still as pig headed, still as idiotic, still as adorable as ever. She cursed herself for thinking it, but why didn't he understand that all she had thought about in the last seven years was the future that they should have been having.

"I shouldn't have come here." Hermione heard herself saying, she wasn't sure who she was trying to tell, him or herself.

"You shouldn't lock yourself away Hermione, My family is your family it always has been you know that." She tried her best to look everywhere but at him. But the habits of a life time were hard to break and she found herself looking at him in silent reverence.

It wasn't that he hadn't changed, he had. His hair had lightened in the sun, his freckles were hidden in the deep brown of his tan, his size had doubled with five years of constant Quidditch training, but all this she knew, she had followed his career with the same passion she had all her friends. It was a way of not letting go of the small grip she had on the past. But to see him in person, now like this it was pulling her in so many different directions it was starting to feel hard to breath.

"I hear your back for good?" he said nodding at her to sit down on the old wooden swing that they had shared in the past, but not like this. The air felt thick with words unspoken, it had never felt like this before, not before they got together, not when they were together…

Hermione followed him and sank on to the chair next to him letting him gently rock the pair of them, Hermione's feet still not touching the floor.

"Hermione?"

"Hu?"

"I asked a question." Hermione played with the tiny band of silver on her hand, it helped seamed to help her focus on the now. She tried to forget the past.

"I took a Job at Hogwarts. Charms teacher. Why the sudden interest?"

"You're my friend, I'm making conversation." He said halting the swing. "Hermione will you please look at me?" he didn't yell, in some ways it would have been better if he had.

She turned to look at him and immediately hated herself for it. She could see the pain behind the eyes; it was the look that Harry had carried for so long, the look that they all had carried for so long the never passing always present hurt that they had all suffered in the seven long years of war and pain.

"Alright I'm looking at you what was so important?"

Ron tipped his head to the side surveying her in the bright sunlight of the midday sun.

"I was just making sure you were still my Hermione, it's been so long I was beginning to forget what you looked like." He got up and headed to the house after his mother and father. "I'm home for two months Hermione lets try and at least salvage something of our friendship."

She watched him walk in to the house the white t-shirt clinging to him in all the right places, his hands shoved deep in his pockets of his denim shorts. He may have grown but as he looked back over his shoulder Ron hadn't changed.


	4. Chapter 4

By the time the party was in full swing Hermione had almost drunk a full bottle of wine to herself. She sat by the pond on the large boulder that had served as a chair so many times before watching as the family she felt so distanced from enjoyed the warm July air. Flure and Bill danced with their son Jack, Jack finally leaving Hermione's side for the first time since they arrived. Hermione was Jacks godmother, Bill had asked her when they were in France if she cared to do the honors and Hermione had jumped at the chance, it gave her some sort of reason. Her God son adored her, he loved to listen to stories about all the adventures that his aunty Mione had gotten up to, obviously the abridged version of events most of the time.

She watched him wander over to Ruby's Basket and peer in to the blankets; he seamed to be fascinated by his cousin. Harry stood protectively by the crib as Ginny played hostess, her red hair tied neatly back and wearing a rather fabulous black Chinese robe. Hermione wondered how long it had taken Harry to persuade her to buy that dress. There had been a bit of an argument when Ginny first fell pregnant, Cho Chang had just been posted in to the department where Harry worked as an unmentionable, they were over it now but Ginny was still cautious around the matter. Charlie stood talking to Gabriella who was watching Ron with curious looks, Hermione couldn't blame her, Ron was acting the fool, no doubt reenacting some stupid Quidditch match or other. Her friends were all around her but still Hermione felt empty and alone.

The more she drank the more she hated the person she had become, and long after many of the party guests had gone home she continued to drink oblivious to toughs around her.

"Come on Hermione I think you have had enough."

Hermione looked up at him he was illuminated by the paper lanterns that hovered around the pond.

"I shouldn't have come hear Ron, I'm drunk, I drank too much and I hate myself and I hate this and I just about hate everything."

Ron sank down on to the ground beside the boulder; he took a sip from the acidic red concoction in his hand.

"You think I haven't gotten in to this state before? You think I don't hate this? You think I like to be away from everything I love for Months at a time?" The two of them stared up at the house the party's remaining guests had moved inside, there silhouettes danced on the curtained windows. "There are ways to block it out, it's easy once you get used to it." He said his drink hovering inches from his mouth drawing in Hermione's gaze. She swayed a little on the rock and steadied herself on his shoulder. He gently helped her down to the grass where he was sat guiding her with a carefully placed hand. She gazed down at his fingers touching the band of silver that lay there.

"You kept it?"

"Everyone needs something to hold on to, even me." She traced the lines across his hand, feeling the hard skin from playing far too much Quidditch and being out in the sun for to long.

"You never come to see me anymore." She whispered quietly as she dropped her hand from his. Ron shifted slightly from side to side. He was acting out the uncertainty that Hermione was to drunk to show.

"The same could be said for you." He said gently taking the bottle of wine that Hermione was about to drink straight from and throwing it in to the black bag he had brought with him on his rounds. "What's wrong with us Hermione, why haven't we moved on like the others?"

He sighed. "It's hard to be here when there all so happy, I still feel so empty." Hermione nodded in agreement.

"Like you have something missing?"

"Exactly. "

Hermione looked at him as he sighed again. His eyes still looked distant and far away, but at least they were talking now.

"Do you ever wonder what we would have done if Harry hadn't survived?"

Hermione nodded her head, shoe thought about it often, would Ron have become even more of a recluse than he was now, would they still be together?

"I worry about you Hermione, I always have and I always will."

She nodded.

"I just need to … I dunno, I wish I did, do you ever get the feeling that your just not needed?"

Hermione opened her mouth to speak but closed it again. She could feel the alcohol making her sleepy and the emotional wear out of the day had started to take its toile long before this meting with Ron.

"Haven't you noticed Ron, we aren't needed, everyone has someone, your dad and mum have each other, George has Fred and he has Luna who in turn will always have Neville. Bill has Flure, Harry has always had Ginny. But when it all comes down to it the only people we ever had was each other. That's it Ron at the end of the day."

She tried to get to her feet but she wobbled slightly. Ron steadied her with his lightning fast keeper skills.

"You have always and will always have me Hermione; you have always been my best friend, I just dunno what the hell happened between us."

"Life got normal Ron, that's what happened to us."

He tipped the remainder of his drink in the hydrangeas and threw the plastic cup in to his black bag.

"Normal ? Hermione ther is nothing about you that is normal or me for that matter."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Ok so maybe not normal, by normal people's standards. But I'd say it's been a long time since we faced certain death down each day." Hermione said contemptuously.

"So that it is it you miss the excitement of going out with me is that it?"

Hermione saw a momentary sparkle behind his eyes.

"Who said I missed you?" she asked quietly.

"You Hermione, every time I see you, you miss me. Your body says it, your eyes scream it, I'd forgotten how easy it is to love you, do you know that?"

"Do you know how bloody hard it is to love you?" she said backing away from him. "You can't do this to me Ron you can't just suddenly be here and like this, seven years!, it's taken you seven years to realize how much of an insensitive git you became after the war, your not the only one that was worried about Harry we all were, you just happened to think it was just you that was effected, well it wasn't, do you know how hard it was to be pushed away like that, you think it didn't kill me to listen to you cry whilst I lay there knowing there was nothing I could do to make it better."

Ron looked at her dumbfounded, "I'm not the one that ran away to France at the first opportunity I got."

"You could have sent owl's." scathed Ron.

"And you could have answered them." She snapped back.

"Well you could have come to see me play…"

"I did." Hermione cut across him. "Every single time you came to France I was at the match, I just couldn't let you know, it hurt too much Ron, you have no idea how much it hurts."

Ron scoffed at her. "What? To know what it fells like to know for a fact that the person you love more than anything in the world loves you just as much but can't stand to be around you, yeah strangely I know exactly what that feels like." He glared at her "It feels like the world is about to explode and take every scrap of your broken heart with it."

She stared at him before turning on the spot and staggering away from him.

"That's right run away, this used to be the other way around." He shouted after her.

Hermione's stomach lurched, she had drank to much wine and she knew that the last thing she should be doing was apparition, but she needed to put as much distance between her and Ron as she could.


	5. Chapter 5

Hermione was sure there had to be a reason her head hurt so much as she woke, blinking in to the bright light that shone through the window. There was a large blank space where the events of last night tried there best to fight for supremacy. She remembered the rock she remembered the two bottles of wine, she remembered watching Bill and Flure dancing wishing she could turn back time to the day of there wedding. The last time they had all been together, all happy and whole, not the fall out from a magical blast that had torn a un fixable hole in to the lives of everyone it had touched.

The first Wedding of the Weasley Clan had been hardley tainted by the threat of the inevatable war that was coming there way, Hermione could remember the crispness of the early morning dew as they had prepared the Garden of the Burrow for the ceremony. The white roses were in bloom on the bushes that made up the, for once. neatly shaped hedge. The boys had spent the morning de gnomeing the garden, whilst the girls had set the decorations in the trees and around the garden. Pretty flower garlands and paper lanterns floated around the place being expertly guided by Hermione as Ginny was far to preoccupied with the time consuming job of watching Harry's every move.

"If you were planing on hiding the fact that you are madly deeply smitten with your brothers current roommate, I would stop staring at him your arousing your mothers suspicion." Hermione said sitting down next her on a bag of rose petals.

"I'm just enjoying the scenery. That's all." Ginny smiled. "Actually Hermione,i have to applaud you." she pulled her hair back securing it with flowers that she had stolen from one of the garlands. " The fact that you have been here a week and i haven't seen you and my dullard of a brother sneaking off anywhere together must be worthy of some sort of award."

Hermione cast a glance across at Ron, he waved and in his momentary loss of concentration the gnome he was holding took a chunk out of his finger.

Hermione bit her bottom lip to stop from laughing so openly that Ron would notice. She couldn't help it he still made her feel electric, so alive that even though they were about to undergo a fight they were highly unlikely to win, Hermione no longer felt afraid. Some how the few snatched moments together made her feel stronger than any thing that they could be told by the Members of the order. Ron was her Rock something she had always known deep down but never really noticed until she had figured out what he meant to her.

"Right which of you twerps are coming with us to go collect the last of the stuff before mother dearest has a heart attack." said George Walking over to the group. "by that he means you and Ronald the rat if you haven't guessed" said Fred slinking up to his brother.

"What about me and Harry we don't want to be here when Mum explodes."

"Sorry sis."

" Order's orders can't have anyone with us that could get in to trouble if they use magic."

"No matter if they are the chosen one." added Charlie seeing that Harry was about to open his mouth to speak.

"No offence Harry, but you would get us far to much attention, we need to keep the wedding under wraps so no uninvited guests decide to crash it."

" But i will be seventeen in something like fourteen hours time..."

Fred and George looked at each other.

"hate to do it to you mate."

" but if you try and come we will have to resort to drastic measures."

Hermione cast a side long glance at Ron who just shrugged.

"Think Ron, in the mood mums in today think how considerably worse it could get if Mum was to find out about The chosen one here and our little sister."

"The tears"

"The hugs"

"The screeching..."

Both twins started laughing manically.

"What?" asked Charlie looking slightly lost at this new information.

"I'll explain on the way to the shop." Ron said pushing his oldest brother in the trail of the twins.

Hermione shrugged mouthing an apology to Ginny as she went.

Aspirin, she had to have some somewhere or some really good potion, she would make some but seeing as how most of her worldly belongings seemed to still be in tea crates it didn't look like either were an option, begrudgingly Hermione summoned up some tea, only to find on tasting that it was coffee. She almost spat it out but her manors wouldn't let her. Here she was alone in her own place and still she couldn't bring herself to act normal, even with the headache from hell.

Why had she agreed to go there yesterday, her emotions were running way to high to start with, it was hard enough to cope with being home let alone having her past raked over in public. The whole thing felt like a public display that she could have done without.

As she let the heat of the shower was away some of the groggy emptiness that she wore like a shell.

When she had finally emerged from the shower dressed in her most unfancy outfit, a pair of jeans and a t-shirt she stared at the boxes that her and Fred hadn't quite gotten around to yet. Having barley touched the first box of books, there were seventeen in total!, there was a knock at the door.

Hermione waited a few moments before getting to her feet and looking through the peep hole.

A bright purple haired pink sunglasses monstrosity looked back at her.

"Wotcher Tonks" said Hermione opening the door to let her oldest and dearest adviser in to the room.

"How on earth did you know it was me?" she said smiling from behind the oversized pink sunglasses.

"I don't know anyone else apart from maybe Luna who would put that combination together." said Hermione indicating the bright orange robes, red trouser suit and blue suede shoes that Tonks in her current formation wore.

"Yeah i know bad isn't it but you know i came straight from work!" There was a loud pop and Tonks returned to a slightly more familiar shape and size. pointing her wand at her clothes she changed them back to the usual band t-shirt and baggy black track suit bottoms that she always seamed to wear outside of the office. "Ron asked me to come see if you were alright, he said you were in quite a state last night when he brought you home."

Hermione stared at her. Well at least that almost filled in some of the blanks.

"Yeah, other than the worst hangover I've ever had I still have all my limbs and I'm not dead so as far as I'm concerned that a good sign."

Tonks helped herself to the coffee that Hermione had abandoned.

"That was quite a interesting fight you and the wonderstuff had last night."

"You herd that then?" Hermione stared down at her fluffy slippered feet.

"Just a smidgen, but only because i was checking on Remus, full moon and all that, he slept in the barn last night..." she said explaining."And before you start on any of that Rights stuff he offered to... didn't want to spoil the party for the happy couple."

"So just how much of our fight did you hear?"

Tonks shrugged. "Enough"

"You know i think somethings going on between the two of them." said George loudly a few steps in front of her.

"I know they havent had good fight in days."

"Oh ha ha ha." said Ron from her side, she glanced at him smiling as she did so.

"Man i wish someone would smile at me like that." said Fred faking heart ache.

"You two need to grow up." Hermione said pushing past the two of them and going in to the cake shop.

"You shouldn't be so upset over things." said Ron catching her up as she carefully took hold of the tiny ornate sugar sculptures for the

table centers. " they don't mean anything by it most of the time."

Hermione smiled at him over the top of the bright scarlet box.

"I have to let them think that im still an uptight little witch now dont i."

"You were never up tight, you just like to be the one in the right."

Hermione followed him out in to the street and down towards the robe shop. As they waited for the twins to finish up Hermione looked at the odds and ends in the junk shop window. Her eyes were drawn to a little ornate jewlery box.

"I didn't think you would like something as tacky as that..."

"Why not..."

"It's just so I dunno..."

"girly?"

"Yeah."

"My gran had one like that when I was very young." Ron looked down at her.

"I doubt it was like that one, that one would probably have had my dad having kittens."

Ron lent around her resting his arm against the dark metal frame. Leaning in he kissed her gently on the cheek.

"Some times you are adorable without even trying."

Hermione felt herself going red. She cast a glance in the shop window drawing her eyes away from Ron's sparkling blue eyes. It wasn't a moment to soon.

"I told you Ron , You can't have any icing till at the dinner tonight ...honestly."

Fred and George looked at each other.

"About time, i was starting to think that something was seriously wrong with the world."

She looked at the two brothers Fred was holding a large green bag that was trailing the ground.

"Honestly, give me that, if you get half the streets of london on the bottom of Phlegms wedding dress we will never hear the end of it."

she swaped the box for the bag and they headed back up the street towards the pub.

"Two seconds we forgot to get the place cards, i'll go get them." Said Ron disapearing down the street again.

"Shouldn't someone go with him?" Hermione said stepping up the curb.

"He can look after himself and if you hadn't noticed its not as if there isn't enought security about." said Fred pushing the door open as a group of aurors passed them. " He's fine."

"So what are you going to do? I meen the man told you that he loved you last night." Tonks said as she passed her another glass of water.

"I don't know. Thinks have changed so much."

"So!"

"I dunno, it's just..."

"Listen it's not as if he's grown a extra head."

"That i could live with..."

she sighed as she played with the hole in the heal of her sock, she would give everything to hold him the way she used to, kiss him, hear his stupid running comentery on every day life...

"Well to get to the point of my visit, Ron's coming over... i just thought i would warn you."

Hermione jumped to her feet. " you were just going to let me talk to him looking like this, what sort of freind are you ?"

"Do you really think he cares?"

"Probably not ..."

The knock on the door made them both jump.

"Sorry Hermione but i'm out of here." there was a bang and she was gone.

Turning to the door Hermione suddenly found it very hard to breath.

* * *

_sorry about the editing i just got a new word prossesor and i'm getting the hang of it. love as ever paula-lou_


	6. Chapter 6

i appologise in advance this chapter probably has a million spelling mistakes in it, my word program is acting nut and it took all my energy just to salvige this chapter, i have prof read it but as many of you know my dislexia kicks in something awful when i read things back so if i have made any glaringy obviose typos or spelling mistakes please forgive me.

paula-lou

p.s the cats are doing fine apart from kitty who went missing ( we think she may have gotten in to one of the plains at the airport cause in the past shes come back smelling like fuel...so if you work in an airport that has flights from newcastle please check hold for kitty the little ones miss her awfully)

* * *

Hermione watched the back of the door for some time almost as if willing it to give her the answer for what she should do next.

"You going to let me in? or do i have to apperate in there?" asked Ron eventualy.

Hermione felt her fingers working on the door handle unvolenteraly, it was a reflex, he asked and she did, it had always been that way why would that ever change. He was stood in the hallway , looking through the tiny gap for a peep hole that had never really worked in the first place. His hair was hidden under a dark blue baseball hat and he wore a dark gray hoodie, he looked like the drink had effected him last night aswel although she knew for a fact that he must still look better than she did.

"I thought that i had better come make sure you hadn't drunk yourself to death." he said letting himself in.

"Thanks, I think?" she said closing her door behind him as he crossed in to her kitchen area.

"Breakfast?"

"You'll be lucky, I don't even have any shopping in yet..."

Ron gazed at her from under his peak, his eye brows raised.

"I normaly just eat out..."

"Oh yes the french do that don't they... never understood it myself, just as well I'm a wizard then isn't it and I don't need shoping...go get yourself dressed it'll be ready by the time you get back." he orded.

Hermione stood watching him for a moment or two before doing as she was told. What was he up to? Did he really think he could just sudenly make things alright by stupid little gestures? The smell of bacon filled the flat making her stomach grumble, it felt like forever since she had last eatten, it seamed like an age since last night and she was having isues with the fact that she had such large blank spaces in her mind.

There was so much that she could remember, but the things that she couldn't seamed to grow with each passing day.

She rummaged through the suitcase that she still hadn't unpacked till she found her favourte jeans and shirt before heading to the bathroom, she tried her best not to look over at him as she passed out in to the living area and back in to the small tiled room.

She could hear him singing along to the radio, he must have found it in one of the crates, she sighed as she turned on the water testing it with her hand, it seamed to be ages ago since she had last listened to him do something so normal...so Ron.

She steped in to the shower and let the hot water run over her, it washed away the troubles of the night before.

When she emerged from the bathroom it was to find most of her things unpacked and he books moving themselvs towards the bookshelf.

"I was going to do it." she muttered.

"Well it's done now." Ron said ordering her to the makeshift table in the middle of the room. "Eat, it'll make you fell better at least." she did as she was told as he carried the two plates of bacon sausage and egg to the table.

_"Where have you been?" asked Mrs Weasley rushing around her hair hid under a cloth to keep her rolers in place. She looked more stressed than Hermione had ever seen her, she didn't envy her one bit._

_"Getting the last of the things, you know what you asked us to do?" said Fred rolling his eyes. " we would have been faster but Ron did a disapearing act on us."_

_"I was five seconds if that." said Ron heading for the house. Hermione smerked and followed him._

_" You only incorage them." she said catching up to him as he put the last of the packages down on the table, she watched him pocket the smallest package and put it in the pocket of his jeans._

_"What's that?" she felt herself asking as she tried to edge her way around to the side with the consealment._

_"Nothing for you to worry about just now..." he said smiling at her and moving out of the way of her advances._

_Hermione felt her face contourt, Ron just smiled at her tapping her on the end of the nose like you would a small puppy. "You're starting to turn in to me,You never used to be so impaceant."_

_"well I personaly think that I've done more than enougt waiting to last me a life time don't you."_

_Ron just shook his head and checking that no one was watching kissed her gently on the end of the nose._

_"You can wait till after, it's nothing... honest." he said turning his attention to the last of the list that his mother had left them to handle. She watched him move around the large arger in the corner , pulling things from the shelfs and placing them on the table, he didn't seam to mind that she wasn't helping if anything he looked quite at home in his family kitchen. It was something that she had never really noticed before they were together, the way that he moved when he was relaxed. But then again had he ever really been all that relaxed before they had gotten together._

_She sat that way, passing away the day watching him busy himself until Ginny had collected her, ushering her away to the stairs and the preening that had to be done so that they would still shine under Flure's brightly burning lights._

"Personaly I think you should put it somewhere safe." he said his mouth full of sausage, evedently time had not changed the fact that he was a pig.

"Why though?"

"Beacause if Mum come's here she wont stop till she's looked all the way through it, and can you imagin the field day that Rita Sketter would have if she could get her hand on pictures of us back at school..." he shook his head, " It's not worth thinking about..."

"Plus you have your fans to worry about." said Hermione trying hard not to laugth at his face.

"Oh yeah, them." he paused. " What the heck is that suposed to meen?" he said pausing sausage half way to his mouth.

"I'm just saying, they could get traumatised seeing school photos of you. I meen I found you atractive but the whole gangly ginger geek dosn't do it for everyone."

Ron preteneded to look hurt but it didn't last long before he started laugthing. "You're one to talk Little miss bucktoothed and draged through a hedge backwards, That's an atractive look if ever there was one."

"You seameed to like it!"

"Ah yes but I was a gangly ginger geek so I was desparate." he said finaly swallowing his bit of sausage.

"I blame it on Harry." Hermione said when they both stopped laugthing.

"Yeah. I blame it on Harry too."

"Blame what on Harry?" Hermione asked.

"If he hadn't been in such a rush to make me find you in that bloody bathroom when Quirrel let in that bloody troll." Ron shook his head and looked at her, she could see the traces of what he used to be under the sham that he showed off to other people. "That bloody troll turned you in to the monster you are today."

"I'm not a monster." said Hermione scraping her hair back in to a ponytail and securing it with the hair elastic around her wrist.

"No but you do seam to have developed a blatant disregard for the rules." Ron said picking up the plates and taking them back to the sink. "Personaly I miss the goody too shoes."

Hermione knew that if she had the energy she would have picked up her wand and cursed him, nothing nasty just enougth to give him a short sharp shock.

"I saw Lavender on the way home."

Ron dropped the plate in the sink, Hermione was almost sure she had heard it crack, but Ron had more than mastered non verbal spells in the last war and she knew she would never be able to see the join.

"Oh how is she?" Hermione saw that the tops of his ears were starting to go red.

"I'm not sure, she saw me grunted something considerably Lavender ish about tealeaves and disapeared off in to the back office.

"Oh well."

"All in all I think she handles herself well." said Hermione walking over and taking the plate off him."Better than some people that I know." Ron looked at his hands as Hermione stacked the plates neatley near the sink. He was watching her carefuly.

"Last time we stood about at a sink like this you were covered in the stuff out of them stinking pods."

Hermione nodded he was right it was the last time they had done something as compleatly normal as wash pots, although that day had been anything but normal, the pods in question had been ingredents in a highly affective love potion, a potion that had eneded up all over the two of them in one of there trade mark arguments, Hermione remebered it as if it was only yesterday. The slow realisation that the effects of the almost undiluted love potion had no affect on either of them, the shock discovery that thoughs already in love were the only ones imune. She could still remember the shocked look upon Ron's face as he read and re-read the information and digested it, the feeling of suddenly knowing the truth in cold hard facts. The day she had fond out that Ron Weasley was as hoplesley mad about her as she was about him. She couldn't help it she smiled at him.

"You're right it was."

The air in the room seamed to change, as if suddenly talking about a shared memory of something so bitter sweet had brought in to sharp contrast the reality of there current situation.

"I never ment to hurt you you know." He said quietly.

Hermione put her hand in to the water and took hold of his.

"But you did." She said looking up at him.

"I'm so sorry, You know how.." he trailed off.

"Yeah I know." she said giving his hand a tiny squeze before taking it out of the water. She dried her hands on the teatowel on the bench and turned to him leaning on her hands that suported her on the bench. "Well Ronald what's the plan for today?"

"I have no idea, it's such a nice day outside that it seames a shame to stay inside all day."

"Well as long as we're back by four I told Harry I would babysit, let him and Ginny have a night out...and no bloody Quidditch."

Ron looked hurt, but he smiled through it. "So no Quidditch...at all?"

Hermione pointed at the door, "You play Quidditch every day for Merlins sake, one day will not kill you."

"But we could go see the Cannons..."

"Thin Ice Ronald, very thin..."

_Orange socks, orange socks with blue dress robes, she shook her head as she watched him,Good god she couldn't take him anywhere, she thought momenetraly of going over and stoping him totaly humiliating himself in front of Flures friends but where would the fun in that be?_

_She was quite shocked when he bade them goodbye and beconed her towards him._

_"I thought you liked the french?" she said sarcasticly._

_"Only from behind." he said rolling his eyes, " Come on I got something to show you."_

_"Why am I suddenly scared for my life?" Hermione said following him around the side of the Burrow._

_"Because you live life on the edge..." if he had been in arms reach she would have hit him, hard and probably around the back of the head. She would have kissed it better but she still would have hit him._

_When she had followd him to the end off the yard and past the pond Hermione gasped. The small seating area was laid out with blanket and lanterns stolen from the main wedding reception. The cut off tree trunk that was used by them as a table had a single bottle of the wine, stolen from the high table and two small goblets._

_"What's this all for?"_

_"I figured that they would all be so ocupied with Bill and Flure that they wouldn't miss us much."_

_Hermione walked over to the blanket and took a seat letting her robes sprawl out on the floor around her, she was lost for words, she honestly didn't have a single sylable to put together to let Ron know how she felt. She had never imagened he had one romantic bone in his body._

_He sat himself down on the blanket next to her, his blue dress robes looking slightly more crumpled that they had first thing this afternoon. He routed through his pocket untill he pulled out a small parcle wraped in silver paper. He handed her it._

_"What's this for?" she managed quietly. _

_"Just because I can."_

_She carfuly unwraped the silver paper he had obviously taken him so long to wrap, when one side was unfolded the small jewlery box that they had seen that morning came in to view._

_"Ron, you can't afford to buy me things like this!"_

_"I wanted too and who else am I going to spend the money on?" he smiled at her. " Open it."_

_She did as she was told._

_Inside lay two silver bands._

_"I wasn't sure if it would fit I had to guess your size." he said apologeticly. Hermione took the smaller of the two rings and put it on her finger. Ron took the other and slid it on his own._

_"It's not a jewlery box, it's a promise box, the wizard in the shop told me, it's where I got the idea for these from." he indidcated the ring on his finger._

_"It's my promise to you. I pomise that whatever happens in the next few days, weeks ,months or years I will always be by your side." he said._

_Hermione looked from Ron to the silver band on her finger, she was choking up, she felt a overwhelming urge to hold him close and never let him go._

_"Hermione say something will you?" He said a look of worry crossing his face. _

_She slung her arms around him and pulled him close wraping the soft material of hs robes through her fingers as she did so._

_"And I'll always be by yours, after all you are my best freind." she said quietly as she felt his hands agaisnt the bare skin on her back. He traced his fingers around on her skin making her shuder under his touch. Ron must have felt it to he buried his head in to the side of her neck, Hermione could feel the heat of his breath against her skin. He gently kissed her neck, knowing fine well that it made her shudder even more._

_"You smell like my Hermione today." he said in a soft whisper, Hermione knew exactly what he ment, she knew the smell of Ron ._

_"And you smell like home."_


End file.
